How to Choose Your First Butt Plug: A Complete No-Myths Guide

Buying your first butt plug raises more questions than almost any other intimate wellness product. It isn't about price or shape, it is simply that no one ever explains what actually matters before you decide, so many people end up choosing based on a photo or the flashiest name. With a few clear criteria, choosing well is much easier than it looks, and the difference between a great first experience and a disappointing one almost always comes down to these details.

Why a butt plug is a good place to start

The anal area has an extremely high concentration of nerve endings, which explains why anal stimulation can feel so pleasurable for both men and women. For anyone with a prostate, a well chosen plug also adds indirect stimulation of that area. You don't need previous experience or ambitious goals to begin: a simple plug, used calmly and with the right product, is the most common way to start exploring anal play, whether alone or with a partner.

The three factors that really matter before you buy

There is a lot of noise around this type of product, but only three features truly make the difference between a good plug and one that ends up in a drawer.

1. The flared base: the one detail you should never skip

Unlike other areas of the body, the anus has no natural stopping point, so anything without a wide, flared base or a loop risks getting stuck. That is why every butt plug designed for sexual use has a safety base built specifically to prevent this. It is, without exaggeration, the one requirement that allows no exceptions.

2. The material, never left to chance

Body-safe silicone is the most common choice because it is flexible, non-porous and easy to clean, although steel or glass versions also exist for those with more experience. What matters is checking that the manufacturer explicitly states the material is designed for intimate use, never a generic material with no such guarantee.

3. The size, where smaller is almost always better

The most common mistake when buying a first plug is thinking big. For beginners, the opposite is recommended: a small, tapered model that lets the body adapt without forcing anything. Moving up in size later, if you want to, is a later step, never the starting point.

Lubricant, the one ally you should never forget

Unlike other areas of the body, the anus doesn't lubricate itself naturally, so lubricant isn't optional, it is practically half the experience. With silicone toys, the general recommendation is a water-based lubricant, since silicone-based lubricant can damage the material over time. Always use a generous amount, and reapply before you start to feel any discomfort.

Remote control or app control? It depends on how you'll use it

For a first time, the sensible choice is a simple, small model with few functions that could feel intimidating. A good example in our catalogue is the Auria anal plug, made from dual-layer silicone with a safety base, IPX7 waterproofing and a wireless remote control, with 10 vibration modes and USB-C charging for both the plug and the remote. It is a format designed exactly for taking that first step, alone or sharing control with your partner through the remote.

If later on you want to add control from your phone, some models in our range connect to ActiveJoy®, INTOYOU's free app. It offers local control via Bluetooth or remote control over the internet with no distance limit, works without registration or personal data, and is compatible with iOS and Android. It's an interesting option for long-distance relationships or for anyone with some experience already looking for that extra step, but it isn't the recommended starting point for a first plug.

How to use a butt plug for the first time, without the drama

• Start at a calm moment, without rushing, ideally once you're already a little aroused.
• Apply plenty of lubricant to the plug and the area, and reapply if you feel you need to.
• Insert the plug slowly, letting your body adjust before going further.
• Pain isn't part of the process: if you feel intense or persistent pain, stop. Some mild initial discomfort is normal, pain is not.
• Afterwards, clean the product following the manufacturer's instructions, dry it well and store it somewhere clean.

Frequently asked questions

Does it hurt to use a butt plug for the first time?

It shouldn't. There may be some pressure or a new sensation, but significant or persistent pain is a sign to stop, not something to push through.

Can I use any lubricant?

With silicone plugs, the safest option is a water-based lubricant, specifically designed for toys made of this material.

Who can use a butt plug?

Anyone with an anus can use one, regardless of gender or orientation. If you have haemorrhoids, anal fissures or another medical condition, it's best to check with a healthcare professional first.

How do I clean it afterwards?

With water and a cleaner specifically designed for intimate toys, always following the manufacturer's instructions, and drying it thoroughly before storing it.

Our recommendation to get started

If it's your first time, always prioritise the safety base, quality silicone and a small size, and pair the experience with a good water-based lubricant. In our beginners' collection you'll find models designed specifically for that first step, and in our anal toys collection you can compare the rest of the range, from the simplest options to app-controlled ones, whenever you're ready to go a step further.